Obsessive thoughts

Last Saturday I missed training for Corporate Challenge Tug-of-War. I am pretty sure it wasn't worth it. Anyway, I decided to make up my 8miles on Sunday. My sister decided she would start out with me and go for a walk with her dog. I told her to go a block down the street from my place and take the trail 2 major streets over and come back. I told her to just follow the path and she would be fine. My bad. I got to the first major street and realized I forgot to tell her to go across the bridge to pick up the trail again. I also forgot that the trail goes the opposite direction from the bridge and stops about a street light up. But I figured she is 30 years old and can figure out to go across the bridge.
I spend the rest of my run, so you know, the next 7 1/2 miles obsessing over whether or not she would figure it out. I had a pretty easy run. I finished in 1hour and 40 minutes. It was pretty humid but I felt really good. I was happy with my run all in all. But I get back to my place and see my sister's car. Now here is the thing she had to be home at 9am to let my parents house cleaner in. We left at 8am. It is now 9:45. So I think she has just decided to come back over and chill with me.
I walk in my place and say "Hey!". No answer. "Sister?"...."Hello?" Panic. Here is the reason for the panic. My place is down the street from my parents house. Even if she didn't find the trail, she could not have been lost. Which made me believe something really bad happened to her. Fortunately I got ahold of my parents cleaner and she told me that my sister ended up walking home after following the path the wrong way and is now walking her way back to my place. All is well. I had to rest for awhile after that. Nothing like a good scare after a long run to get the heart juices pumping.
Monday I lifted some weights and stretched. Nothing exciting. Yesterday I hit the trail again. I wore my new shoes again. I really don't know how I feel about them. I'm worried they are making my shins hurt when I run. Nothing bad enough that I am in pain or it stops me from running, but enough that I notice it. I will wear them again on Thursday and see how it goes.
Sarah and I have made plans to do a WHOLE BOOTBLOCKING WEEKEND. The last weekend in July. I'm pretty excited. If you want to help but don't have the money to donate, we are looking for friends to help us collect that weekend. Please let me know if you would like to help. Even 30 minutes one day would be great. Thank you all for your support.

Does yard work count?

My mother printed off the training schedule and I realized that I am supposed to be doing resistance on Monday and Wednesdays and running on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Whoops. Oh well, so this week I started out right. Yesterday I had every intention of doing weights at home after work but I ended up doing yard work at my new house and by the time I was done, I was too wiped to do weights. Can I call that resistance? Yard work is hard for anyone who hasn't done it before or hasn't had to rip out a jungle from their yard. (Not kidding by the way. They left me a jungle. We found a stone rooster buried under the jungle. I like it, and I'm keeping it.)

Today I went for my run and wow was I feeling good today. The weather was perfect and I was in the right mental state and my body felt good for the first time in awhile and I was moving! Even this sweet lady as I passed her was all "wow your fast". In fairness, even when I move fast for me, I am not moving that fast, but she was older. It made me feel good though and really happy with my run.

Tomorrow: more yard work. I'm counting it as resistance.

I took a flyer for my Hot/Cold Therapeutic Rice Bags to work. One girl came up to me and said "I don't want to buy one of your thingies but I do want to donate. Sorry it is only $4." I thanked her and told her that every dollar helps! It was really sweet. I have a feeling nobody is going to buy a bag which is disappointing, especially since another co-worker brought in her son's cub scout bake sale stuff and almost everyone bought something from him because she has been around for several years and they are all close. I even bought something I didn't really want just because I wanted to support the kid. Social standings at work are a bummer.
I've been really bad about fundraising as a whole though. Sarah and I are going boot blocking on Sunday and then I really need to get my butt in gear and get out there.

Thank you all for following me even when I complain. Please help fight blood cancers and help those in need and donate!

Swimming

I find that I really look forward to Saturday training. I woke up very easily this morning, rolled out of bed and made my way to our route. Sarah was there this morning which was a pleasant surprise because I didn't know if she was going to be there.

Sarah and I were both struggling with the humidity at the beginning of the run. It was like swimming to the first water stop instead of running. Fortunately for us, a breeze picked up and the rest of the run got easier. We did 6 miles in and hour and 8 minutes. That is incredible for me.

After the run I bought a new pair of shoes, shorts and some Gu at a pretty large discount. I made out like a bandit. I now am searching for some awesome laces for my new shoes. Over all, it was a really great Saturday morning/training day.

I am now selling Hot/Cold Therapeutic rice bags for $20 donations to LLS for people who live in town or will be in town at some point. These bags are incredible and last a VERY long time. Please contact me through my facebook if you would like to buy one. Thank you for your support!!

Life Happens

Life has been crazy busy.
I didn't get any training done Memorial Day week. I bought a house that week and my life went out the window. Sometimes I feel like life happens and I have no say over the matter.
I started training again last week and I am finding a routine that works for me. Our kick off was last week and I am really looking forward to this season. I am pretty excited to be doing this with my mom. She is already a Rock Star at fundraising. I am being slow and not working very hard at my fundraising and I need to get it into gear.

Saturday was our first team training and it went really well. I picked Sarah up on the way because of car troubles and we started the season out together. She is amazing and is training for time this year. I can't keep up with her, but I run with her while I can and then I get into my own groove. I look forward to training with her because she is always so motivating.

This week I have been good about my trainings. Nothing exciting has happen. Future Hubby ran with me last night and that was a rare and special treat. Usually he jets off in front of me and is almost done with his shower by the time I get home. But last night he stayed by my side and I loved it.

I am ultra excited for this weekend's training. We get a discount at the running store and I am going to go a little crazy because I need some supplies.

Hopefully now that I am actually getting back into the groove I will keep up with my blog. I am working this year and so I have a lot less time. I am learning time management though. Please keep up with my blog with me because I am going to start fundraising and I would love for the support of everyone to meet my goal and save lives. Visit my website and donate or encourage others to!

Back to the Grind

Saturday Sarah and I started our training together again. It was 5 miles and a good starting point. The weather ended up being really nice running weather and it felt like a great start to the season. Sarah was worried about the mileage since she has just started running again since last fall but she finished strong and I remembered how much of an inspiration she is. It feels good to be out with the team again and I am really looking forward to this season.
Today Sarah and I went boot blocking and she helped a co-TNTer  reach his minimum for his marathon and he has promised to come back and return the favor. I am now burnt to a crisp but happy that we did really well. I think if we keep going for most weekends we should be able to raise a good portion of our money. I need to convince my mom to get out there at least once with us. Plans are starting to be made to fund-raise and reach our goals, but I have decided that it is time to get a move on because it is better to get more done sooner instead of scrambling at the end.

I have my training schedule planned out for this week and I am really hoping I can stick to it, but tomorrow is a holiday and we are signing for our new house on Tuesday, and Thursday we are meeting with workers for the house. But I have a plan and I am sure I can stick to it.

Please help me meet my fund-raising goals by sharing my website with everyone you know. Thank you for your support.

On the road again!

Around mile 20 of my marathon last October I told myself I would never do this again and I couldn't believe I wasn't quitting right then and there. But here I am again. The beginning of a new season. I have a new fundraising goal and a new destination, but the same ultimate goal: to cross the finish line.

I have started my training by running 2-3 miles on Tuesdays and Thursdays and doing weights on Mondays and Wednesdays. And soon, my mother and I will be doing Yoga together on Fridays and our long trainings on Saturdays. I am so excited that my mom is walking the half. It will be great to share this experience with her. We will be fundraising and training together!

The journey has just begun. Check back often to hear me complain, sound petty, overcome personal obstacles and accomplish my goal! I look forward to sharing the next 5 months with you. Thank you for all the support you are about to provide to help me through this physical, emotional, and financial adventure.

Finisher

2:00 am is when I woke up and looked at the clock Sunday morning. My alarm was set for 4:45 am. I laid in bed with my heart racing, trying to take steady breathes to calm myself and relax until my alarm finally went off. My roommate, Emily, and I got dressed, put together our gear bags, took medications, supplements, and anything else needed for this big day. Sarah met us in our room and we put her donor's names on the body parts they bought and then headed down to the meeting point.

Everyone walked together to the starting area and found their starting corral. Sarah, my mentor Amy, and I started together. Mom and Dad met up with us and took pictures and wished us luck. They were there to send me off from the starting line. I was surprisingly calm. I was just cold and hoping we would start soon so I could warm up.

We finally started and Sarah, Amy and I took off together. The first half of the race was incredible. We saw all the major sights. Fisherman's Warf, Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, and many scenic views. This also meant that the first half was incredibly hilly. Mile 6 was a mile long hill. But the good thing for me is that uphills are my strong point. It is easier for me to push myself on an uphill then a straight away.

There were many cheer zones and powersong points along the first half. The powersong points were points that Nike played a given song over and over and that was the powersong. It really pumped us up. It is truly amazing how the cheer zones and powersong points are so influential on how you feel.

Right before mile 10 we had to go to the bathroom, so there was this little line of trees that we hopped behind for a second and then hit the road again. about mile 11 Mom and Dad were there to cheer me on. It was really great to see them. This is where the half and the full split from each other. So Sarah, Amy, and I went off toward Golden Gate Park. At mile 14 I was still feeling really good and I was excited that I was over halfway done. I felt so amazing for the first half of the race. I am really proud of my first half.

But then mile 16 hit and I hit my first wall. Fortunately it was a small one. I rubbed some bio-freeze on my knees and hips and kept going. I saw Mom and Dad again some where between 16 and 18 and it pumped me up for the hardest part of the run. At mile 18 I hit my second small wall. Sarah was feeling great and I was slowing down. I told her to go ahead because I wanted her to run her race her way and I didn't want to hold anyone back. Amy was having more trouble then me and she was falling behind. So Amy found another team member and stuck with her since they were more compatible and then I was on my own.

I was fine until mile 20. Here is the thing. The second half of the race is through the park and then around this lake that is about 5 miles around. So from miles 18 -23 it is this lake that you can barely see through the trees on one side of you and crap highway on the other side of you. There are no cheer zones and there are no powersong points. There are a few people scattered that are cheering for you, but that is it. It sucks. To top it all off, it had started drizzling around mile 13, but at this point it is really raining. And mile 20 was my great wall of China. I hit hard.

Something inside of me snapped. I was exhausted and I lost control. I had to use everything in my power to keep myself from crying. It was the hardest mental struggle I have ever been through. If you are crying, you can't breathe, and if you can't breathe, then you can't run. And I was determined to keep running. I was an emotional mess. I was upset and that became anger, and eventually it turned into pure determination. But I will get to that in a moment.

At mile 23, a coach from another Team in Training started running beside me. She asked me if I was doing alright. I told her I was, but she continued to run with me in silence. I guess I looked like I wasn't doing so well. Then I saw coach Jenn and waved at her and she took the place of the other coach. She asked how I was doing and when I told her how I was feeling she said it was totally normal and not to give up because I had less then 3 miles left and I am a marathon finisher. She told me I didn't look so good and made sure I really was okay and then went off to make sure everyone else was doing alright. I felt a little better after that but I still desperately wanted to be done.

Then slightly after mile 24 the 5:30 pacer girl started to pass me and something else inside of me just snapped and I said in my head, "Oh, fuck no. No no no. You will not fucking beat me." And I started running. Like full on running. I ran all the way to the finish line in the pouring rain and finished strong. Mom, Dad, and Aunt Lauren were there cheering me on as I passed the finish line and that meant so much to me.

I got my Tiffany's finisher's necklace, my finisher's t-shirt and went back to the hotel where I took a very hot shower and relaxed until dinner time. Even though I didn't have the emotional capacity or brain power to be proud of myself after the race, I am very proud now. I am a marathon finisher! And I plan to do it again next year. But I am going to stay home and do the one here. Maybe you can be there to cheer me on! Thank you to everyone who has been following and has supported me. It has meant a lot to me and I appreciate it.